My Story..My Life...

Liverpool Football Club is up for sale.

I bumped into a friend of mine at Ion Orchard, a person who doesn't give a hoot about football, and she asked me whether you could buy this thing called Liverpool at Gucci.

I told her you'd have to be Gucci himself to buy Liverpool, although if Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres are not part of the sale, then you need to be only Yucci, Ducci, Stanley Tucci or any illegal imitation brand.

Now, buying Liverpool needs, of course, big money.

The current owners, Tom Hicks and George Gillett - aka Most Hated Americans In Liverpool - are apparently expecting at least US$770 million (S$1.06 billion) according to one report.

That kind of dough requires the active participation of conglomerates, banks, sheikhs, Russian oligarchs, deposed prime ministers and very fat sugar daddies.

I wiki-ed the people who currently own the teams in the Premier League.

None of them stays in an HDB flat.

Fulham are headed by the fellow who owns Harrods department store.

Aston Villa are owned by an American whose source of wealth is listed as banking and investment.

Manchester City are part of the Personal Gems Collection of a Middle East gent whose legendary riches hail from the Clash Of The Titans era.

And Chelsea are run by the Russian Roman Abramovich, who, oh, I don't think even he knows what he actually does for a living.

Here's the common link, though.

Every one of these fat cats has cash to wave like a National Day flag.

I bet that if you go to any Liverpool fan from Anfield to Anfield Strip Bar in Timbuktu, he'd tell you to avoid selling his beloved Reds, by any means necessary, to joint-owners, corporations, trust funds, five-owner bondages like Arsenal's, fan clubs, Hokkien huay kuans or an alien empire headed by Darth Vader.

Just go straight to a very, very rich guy with zero, absolutely zero, debt.

Exhibit A in this ideal venture are the Glazers of Manchester United.

Man U have so much debt due to their American owners' loan deals that even window glazers are mad at the Glazers.

Exhibit B are the Red Knights.

These 'real' fans of the club are having trouble mounting a Lord Of The Rings offensive to take over the Red Devils because there are no Aragorns, Gandalfs or four little hobbits among them.

Exhibit C are Portsmouth.

It's magical that they've reached the FA Cup final, and even more magical if they win it.

But then the cup will disappear quicker than magic because, when melted down, it's worth at least a few quid more to pay off their relegation-inducing debt.

The fans had reportedly banded together as a supporters' trust to save poor hand-to-mouth Portsmouth.

Until they realised that people who've spent all their money watching football on Saturday don't normally have a lot left to spend on anything else.

No, the true-red Scouser will swear on an Evertonian's grave that what Liverpool essentially, totally, spiritually need to do is to sell to a filthily, obscenely and mythically-rich man, woman or child who's not running from loan sharks.

Ideally not American again like Hicks and Gillett.

Although Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and that nice family which runs Walmart are okay.

I'm thinking of the shamelessly rich like Mexico's Carlos Slim, Hong Kong's Li Ka Shing, the French lady who owns L'Oreal, or Osama bin Laden if he counts all his compounded bank interests while he was away in a cave.

Any of these mega-loaded people can save Liverpool.

Provided they know that Liverpool are always the team that play in the red.

- i just wanted to say ...# ;